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My first time as an unmarried Muslim woman

History: Today I am 28 years old and recently married. Since I come from a Turkish-conservative family, any sexual activity before marriage was taboo for me. As a real late bloomer, I have only devoted myself to my sexual urges since I was 20 years old. As a result, there were many stories worth telling about my secret love affairs. My husband thinks to this day that he was my first, and I want it to stay that way. Since he has always been very sluggish and selfish in bed, I have been thinking more and more recently about my colourful “youth years” during my studies. A fling could cost me my marriage and my entire reputation today, which is why I decided to use my stories as an outlet to arrange myself with my unfulfilled lust. My name is Rübeyya (of course changed) and I tell of my secret sex life as a young Muslim.

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Muslim Girl

One of my most impressive sexual experiences happened on a rainy December day, shortly after I turned 23. Although I discovered masturbation at the age of 20, I was still a virgin at that time. I took the earliest bus to university because I couldn’t stand it at home anymore. My father had quarreled again with my mother because she accused him of a fling. It was also slowly enough for me, because I felt disadvantaged. He just cheated at a party while watching over the virginity of his three daughters like a chain dog. The mood at the breakfast table was accordingly bad. I decided to join the student council of our faculty and fly over the upcoming lecture. My grades were above average, which I have always attached great importance to.

When I got off at the cafeteria stop, I straightened out my red turban, which concealed my long black curls. I checked my silhouette in the rain-wet window front of the cafeteria. My long skirt adequately covered my lush hips. It fluttered a little in the cold wind. Although I was urged by my mother to wear a headscarf, I made up every day. Many men have already complimented me on my dreamy, dark eyes. One could sink into them. A particularly cheeky one even said I was the new Sheherazade. Of course I liked that. Although I always conscientiously concealed my figure and hair, my face seemed to have an attractive effect on men. Most of them were German, but that didn’t bother me at all. I had enough of the macho culture of my extended family anyway. I also always found blue eyes and blond hair very attractive.

I unlocked the student body with my key, a cup of coffee in one hand, my laptop in the other. When I sat down at the table, I noticed a piece of paper stuck on the fridge. I took a closer look.

“Hello Rüby, Tim was here yesterday looking for you. He wanted to know something from module 3. Why don’t you give him a call? Tel: 0151*. Linda”

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Linda, one of my best friends, studied English in her master’s degree. She had long, flowing hair, a bright smile and was also very popular with men. We already knew Tim from various seminars he attended with us. He was an average student with dark blond hair and a nice smile. The classic buddy type. I always avoided being alone with him for a long time, as I could sense a certain affection from his side. He often asked questions about my family, which led me to assume that he wanted to know whether my parents were very strict. I liked his smile, but I would never have admitted it at that time. I typed his number into my cell phone and decided to text him.

“Hello Tim, the documents are only available to me tonight. Why don’t you come to our meeting at the Fachschaft around 17.00? LG, Rübeyya.”

Linda had announced a student council meeting for this evening, which would be attended by about 10 people. I was secretly happy to see Tim. Only two minutes later an answer appeared on the display: “All right, see you then.” I caught myself thinking about being alone with Tim in the student body. My abdomen was tingling. Even though I had never watched a porno, I imagined during many of my nightly “activities” how Tim would tenderly embrace me. He would give me a kiss and throw me on his bed. Then he would stroke me through my otherwise covered hair. This was already the highest of feelings, because no stranger had ever embraced me before. Tim was part of my then still very innocent masturbation fantasies. At night I was often overcome by the desire to sleep with Tim. I can still see it today. I always came.

Probably 10 minutes stared you through the window of the empty student body into the inner courtyard. My Klit was tingling when I imagined how Tim would glide over it with his tail. I noticed how my panties got wet. Just when I wanted to push my tender hand under my skirt to savour the warm tingling, the door opened behind me. Frightened I tore my hand in the height and scratched perplexed my head. Natalia had entered the student body and greeted me loudly. “Well, already here? Quite diligently. It’s only 07:30!”. She threw her bag on one of the chairs. I noticed my heavy breathing only now, when Natalia asked just in this moment: “Everything okay with you? Are you from sports?” I nodded. “I lied and hoped that she didn’t notice how dry my clothes were. I wanted to start some small talk and asked “Are you coming to the session today? Natalia frowned. “It is not going to happen. They’re all on an excursion, so it’s not worth announcing anything.” I had completely forgotten that. Linda had told me at lunch yesterday. Natalia got up, said goodbye with the words to get a roll and left me alone in the student body. I breathed a sigh of relief. The juice in my panties began to cool slowly, so I felt like I was sitting in a puddle. My thoughts revolved around sex. If there is no session today, I couldn’t invite Tim to the student council either. Every situation in which I was with a man in a closed room endangered my reputation. Anything could happen. At the same time I felt the urge to be close to him. To do something forbidden. I loved the thrill.

I again let my hand slide inconspicuously under my skirt. She gently massaged my wet red panties and slipped past the fabric a few seconds later. My wet crevice widened willingly. They nestled around my fingers. My head sank again into unchaste thoughts which returned to the comforting daydream from earlier. My hand massaged the even more dripping column faster and faster. I knew one thing: I will certainly not cancel Tim.

The morning went as expected. Unfortunately, my panties took three hours to dry completely, which made me feel ashamed sitting in the lecture hall. Did I do the right thing? I was about to run into sin with my eyes open. My heart pounded in places like after a 1000 meter sprint. If my father can fuck other women, why can’t I? Unfortunately I knew exactly what stupid excuses I was looking for. The honour always depended on the woman. A bride who is no longer a virgin was like merchandise from the outlet. It was just as good as the original, but in the eyes of the men it was a worthless second choice. I calmed down with the thought that Tim probably only wanted to talk about the module anyway. He would never touch me, let alone kiss me. Probably he would leave after 20 minutes anyway. The hours passed, but my excitement continued to rise. I felt the adrenaline in the stomach area, which made me feel quite dull.

A quarter of an hour earlier than I was supposed to, I entered the student body. It was empty. Apparently the remaining members had either stayed at home in the rainy weather or had already driven home. I sat down on our grey fabric couch. Some IKEA model. In my nervousness I watered all the plants excessively much. “It’s all in your head, Rüby. He really just comes by for the papers. Stop thinking so perverted. If your parents knew.” Apropos parents: They wouldn’t expect my coming home anyway, because they know about our student council meetings. Such events often last until 21:00 or even longer. They were used to me being at home much later than on the other days of the week. I sat down again and puffed. “Rübeyya, this is Zina! You fantasize about a man touching you. Stop it,” boomed in my head. But I couldn’t help it. Everybody talks about sex all the time. I had no idea. But in the end I was just a person with drive-controlled needs. My hole wanted to be filled for about 3 years finally. I wanted to experience it. My fantasies had become more and more unbearable in these years. I could not imagine that some chaste Muslima in my age ever had such perverse thoughts. Therefore I felt like a shameless slut. No decent woman thinks about sex, especially not if it is not her husband she thinks about.

At 17:00, there was an energetic knock at the door. When she opened, Tim came in. He let his backpack hang casually over his shoulder and greeted him friendly. I joked jokingly about his German punctuality. He took a seat on a chair one meter away from me. Somehow he looked better than usual. His hair looked tidier. Had he tried hard for me? “Nice that you could find time for me. I have so many questions about last week’s lecture.” He smiled at me. In my belly it twitched like a flash of lightning. Our eyes met. He looked me in the eyes a little too long. I held the gaze and even he did not turn his focus away from me. It seemed to me like eternity when he turned his head away abruptly.

“That will take a little longer today. That’s why I brought a bottle of wine with me.” I laughed nervously. “Uh, Tim. Do you see THAT there?” I pointed to my headscarf. “I don’t drink alcohol. Never!” Tim grinned and took two coloured paper cups out of his backpack. “What is not, can still become. Have you really never drunk alcohol before? I affirmed. Tim poured the same amount into both cups. A thought came to my mind: he didn’t seem at all surprised that I was alone. Why didn’t he ask what had happened to the session? “If you don’t want to drink, then I’ll drink alone” he teased. His casualness made me even more embarrassed. I always wanted to try alcohol. I have always conscientiously stayed away from all parties of my friends of the same age. There someone could have seen me and told on me at the end. I looked at the free poured cup. Outside it was already pitch dark. In the student body only the light of our desk lamp burned. It was even really cosy.

“Okay” I heard myself say. “A sip. But only one.” Curiosity overwhelmed me and I hesitantly raised my cup. Tim seemed amazed and made an applauding movement. I was horrified at myself. Secretly, however, also a little proud. I sipped on the red wine and immediately distorted my face. It tasted bitter and disgusting. “Come on, another sip,” Tim said next to me. In retrospect I don’t recognize Rübeyya. I was also immediately horrified about it. Again I lifted the cup up and drank it to ex. I felt sick. “Madness, Rübeyya! I wouldn’t have thought you like that at all” Tim shouted astonished and patted me on the shoulder approvingly. He had touched me. I froze. My doubts became louder again. Rübeyya, what are you doing here? Not only do you flirt with a German man, but you also drink alcohol? If your parents knew how you shamefully forget your morals here. They didn’t raise you that way. Today Tim wore a white shirt and tight-fitting jeans. He smelled something of men’s perfume, which I liked. Tim followed me. Was that good?

We sat opposite each other for a while. I had already emptied three quarters of my second cup. I didn’t know myself like that. Since I was completely inexperienced in the handling of alcohol, I let myself refill again. I was overcome by the urge to talk to Tim about my problems. While he was telling me something about learning theories from the module, I interrupted him abruptly: “You know, Tim? He stopped and looked at me. “You know…. I told you a lot about my family. I have to tell you how it is with us. This morning I just couldn’t take it anymore.” “Why then? he asked confusedly. “My father. He was drinking in the Blubowl again. In the night, he was again with some slut rumgehauen. I feel so sorry for my mother. I can’t stand it anymore.” I noticed myself how I began to babble. The wine seemed to work. But at that moment I didn’t care. “Wait a minute. Does he probably do that often? “Yes. I know of some cases. “But your father is the one who forbids you to have contact with men, isn’t he?” “YES! It excites me so. How can he let us live under this double standard. Do you know how he would tick out if he knew what I was doing here?” Tim grinned. “I can imagine,” he said. His eyes beamed when he started again: “His beautiful daughter with a German man. They drink wine, he wants it and adores it.” I japste frightened. Some wine ran down my chin. “He…what?” I stuttered. He seemed to feel caught. His mood changed. “You are right. We shouldn’t sit here like this. I just didn’t know how to help myself any other way,” he said with his head down. “It always draws me near you. If I am honest…” “Yes?” I asked, bursting with curiosity.

“If I am honest, I knew the whole time that this session would be cancelled. I wanted to fill you up and get closer to you. That seemed the only way.” My heart was beating. That was so immoral and wrong. So my gut feeling was right after all. I suddenly became horny in a macabre way, without ever wanting it. I wish he hadn’t said that. My gaze wandered to his now folded hands. He drove himself through his hair with one hand. Did he seriously feel guilty so suddenly? Was it my father he had to think of again?

He took the floor again. “Rübeyya. You are such a beautiful, honourable woman. I am sorry that I wanted to take advantage of you so much. I will destroy your whole future in the end. He seemed to be really bent. I knew he was an honest person who really seemed to have remorse. Meanwhile the room began to rotate before my eyes. The wine did its work. I held on somewhere, but noticed that it was Tim’s shoulder. Tim stood up and grabbed the empty wine bottle. “I’d better go now. I’m sorry,” he said quietly. He reached for the paper cups to collect them. This man, who was just in a room with me and had hoped for exactly the same situation as I, wanted to leave? I could no longer hold on to myself. My only chance ran through my fingers. I wanted him.

“No.” I’m sure I said. He turned to me in surprise. I walked towards him, swayed a little and closed his face in my hands. He stopped as if frozen. His warm cheeks excited me. I was winged as our noses almost touched. “Stay here” I heard myself say before I pressed my lips on his. I sank into our passionate kiss. His lips felt soft and familiar. He dropped his bag and raised his hands. He hadn’t expected it. In the kiss devoured he put his arms around me. He pressed me to himself. From then on everything went very quickly. He pushed me in front of him until my back felt a cold wall behind it. Without shame he pressed himself against me. I breathed heavily and began to sweat. I was not allowed to do that. Still I could prevent it. His hand felt its way to my right breast. A shiver ran through me. I groaned. “I must now ask you with this. Sleep with me”. He whispered. He began to moan. It seemed to make him horny to rub his body against mine. A considerable bump was already visible in his crotch. I wrapped my arms tightly around him. I owe this daring to the wine. “Kiss me”, I breathed. “I have no idea what I should do. He understood. In short, he grabbed his belt and opened his trousers. My hand drove over the big bump in his black boxer shorts.

A wave of lust came over me, so that I took the initiative myself and pulled half-naked Tim onto our sofa. He lay down over me. I impatiently stripped off my sweater. Now he only saw me in the bra. It was red and wore a row of black lace. I always loved beautiful underwear. The first man ever could enjoy this sight today. His mouth remained briefly open. “Woah.” He whispered. My firm breasts seemed to please him. He grabbed my back to open the bra. I stripped him impatiently. My soft breasts seemed to tumble out through the short jerk and bounced up and down. “I’m going to hell for this,” joked Tim. He covered both breasts with endless kisses. His tongue played with my dark nipples that no man had ever touched before. My breath stayed away. I felt myself getting wetter and wetter. Tim stripped off his boxer shorts. “I can’t wait any longer,” he breathed. Through the fabric of my skirt I felt his hard cock. I wanted to touch it, lick it, feel it inside me.

Tim trembled a little. “Leave the headscarf on,” he said. “I can’t dishonor you completely. That shall be preserved for your later husband. He seemed to find my headscarf really horny. I liked his unrestrained excitement. He pushed my skirt up. “Let me touch your pussy.” He rubbed his hand on my string. Tim moaned up. “You are so horny, Rübeyya. I can’t do any more.” He smiled and kissed me. I didn’t know what to answer to such words. He found my Klit immediately. Like a billowing sea my cunt washed all decency out of my chaste body. I could do nothing against it. I was ashamed because I was so wet. Tim also seemed to notice it. “You probably like that,” he pressed out between heavy breaths. He rubbed my clit faster and faster. A moaning escaped my silent mouth. What am I doing here? I should not…

But my doubts were suppressed by something warm. Tim had also pushed his tail under my skirt. I stiffened. At the same time he fiddled around with my panties until he could finally wipe them off. My breath became heavier. Would it hurt? Tim didn’t seem to think such thoughts, because he couldn’t think clearly because of all the tits and wetness. He rubbed himself breathing heavily over me and showered me with kisses. “Is that okay for you,” he asked as he gently pressed his acorn tip against my vaginal entrance. I was surprised. My senses accumulated in an unprecedented euphoria. I pressed out a quiet “yes”. Slowly I felt his hard cock glide deeper and deeper into my pussy.

I bit my teeth together. It would hurt soon. I felt a little resistance, followed by a feeling of pressure. Tim had decided to bump into me. I let him do it. With a violent jerk his tail was all in my wet slit. This feeling of width was unknown to me. I began to groan unrestrained as he continued his blows. He gasped. I pressed my pelvis against him. It felt so awesome that I could no longer hold on to myself. “Fuck me, Tim. Please’ I gasped. He pushed even harder. His jolts became faster. I noticed that he wouldn’t hold out much longer. His hand clawed into my plump chest, the other one wrapped around my back. His grip around me became stronger and stronger. He enjoyed fucking a virgin.

The pressure inside me became unbearable. I steered towards a breathtaking orgasm. I rubbed myself against him and enclosed him tighter. Our moaning not only broke the silence of the room, but also, as we were to experience later, that of the inner courtyard. Lust shook us both like two branches in a storm. I clawed myself into his strong back. “Yes,” I shouted happily. He continued to fuck me unrestrained. “Come for me, Rübeyya” Tim moaned before I exploded under him. My whole body began to twitch. A wave of happiness flowed through my limbs. What an orgasm! I relaxed immediately. My innermost trembled under his hard blows. Tim moaned over me. He was at the limit of his stamina and was already beginning to bend over me. In a moment he would come. Suddenly it dawned on me. He must not come in me! We had no condom! I screamed “STOP” in panic. I came to my senses. I tried to pull his heavy body down from me.

I pressed against him. “Not in me! Out, out!” But Tim was in completely different spheres. It was too late. I watched helplessly as he trembled and bent over me. He moaned and poured his hot sperm into my hole. I could do nothing against it. Several pushes poured themselves again and again in my narrow pussy, while Tim panting over me collapsed. He snapped for air. “Madness”, I heard him say. I was desperate. How could we have forgotten that? I panicked him and threw him off me. Tears shot into my eyes. My life could now be ruined. I squatted and tried to squeeze out all the sperm. Tim also seemed to regain his strength now. “Shit,” he said out loud. He jumped up. “Shit, shit, shit. How could we forget that? I am so sorry, Rübeyya!”

Finally we drove to the pharmacy where Tim bought me the morning after pill. A few weeks later, to our relief, I also got my period. The memory of my first time on our student body couch is still alive in my memory. To this day Tim has never seen me without a headscarf. But we share a sweet little secret forever.

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